the people who hurt you the most are the ones that you'd least expect it from.
the ones that you let in. the ones you trust. the ones you think will always want you no matter what stupid, irresponsible mistakes you make.
you were that to me.
so i let you as far in as i know how, and now everything is ruined.
i think about you every night, right before i fall asleep. i have weird dreams that ALWAYS end with you. everything reminds me of you- that asher roth song about college, the taste of captain morgan, the shirt i was wearing that day... and you still haven't called.
i know it's my fault. i was a dumb girl who thought that when you came back after 2 years, you would still have the crush on me that you did during high school. you live 3000 miles away, and i'm pretty sure there are at least a few girls on the west coast. honestly i didn't think about you much, either, before you came back, but now i can't stop even though it's pretty obvious that you don't feel the same.
i just wish that things had been different back then, so they could be different now.
but i guess they can't.
you get closure from the whole high-school crush thing, and i get a whole mess of fucked up feelings to deal with.
i'm going to put on my big girl pants and stop acting like a little bitch.
but i'm also going to stop having stupid feelings in the first place.
because this is where i end up
and i don't want to hurt anymore.
